platypusone – Page 5

Health

5 Day Water Fast

By platypusone October 21, 2020

Today is the beginning of the second day of a ~~five day~~ three day water fasting effort. My last meal was on Monday, where I absolutely gorged myself on Moroccan beef and chicken served up with a creamy salad and fries. Afterwards, I went home and made a giant batch of pumpkin seeds roasted in salt and butter. It was delicious, but it also tipped the balance of conscientious health awareness into favor of action.

Water fasting is pretty self-explanatory. You go about a pre-determined number of days without anything but water (black coffee is supposed to be okay too, Ill get into that later). The goal is to break the cycle of poor eating choices, which has been more of an addiction for me lately. As well, I plan to capitalize on some fringe benefits that may come with this massive shift to nothingness. This includes stopping smoking, re-setting my alcohol consumption, firming up the mental fortitude, all the while detoxing the system little bit.

Im a bit perturbed right now actually (beyond the irritability that comes with not eating). You see, it has at this point been around 31 hours since my last meal. However, technically the fast has only in effect since my last intake of calories, which came in the form a several cups of honey and milk laden coffee, the last of which went down the hatch somewhere around noon or so I reckon. This means my calorie-free fast is only around 15 hours old. Damn what a penalty!

How I am feeling at this point.

I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night, however I did wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed at about 3:45 this morning. Last night I went to bed somewhere around 9 or so. So really, I didn’t miss out on too much sleep. Every now and then I get a good little hunger pang but for the most part it is the breaking of the momentum of the habit of eating that has been the biggest challenge. Boredom is a bit of a problem now too. Usually I would eat (now out of the question) or grab a beer and smoke cigarettes outside, but since beer has calories (and I only smoke when I drink) I am unable to indulge.

This is where the mental fortitude comes in. Today holds a full cupboard of hours that I must endure, all the while smelling the smells of a household hat loves to cook (my wife just walked into the dining room with a bowl of delicious looking porridge).

The goal is to make five days. Here we go….

Day III 10/22/2020 – 09:56:37AM

I woke up this morning feeling surprisingly good. However that was quickly replaced by a light but persistent hangover like headache. My back is also a bit achy, and I can feel fatigue in my lungs when I go upstairs. My weight this morning is 194 pounds, roughly one pound dropped in 12 hours. Monday I was just under 200 pounds. Ive also noticed that my heart rate has actually increased to around 100 bpm at resting. The average rate is 61 to 77. I have read that this is normal, as the body enters into a fight or flight state, ready to pounce on nearby prey to eat, or flee from nearby predators that sense an easy target. Could be BS, but it makes sense enough to me

The interesting this is, there is no way my weight can go any direction but down while on this diet.

Today is day 3, which is where my body has likely depleted its reserves of glucose and cells will begin the process of eating themselves, in a process called autophagy. Some studies indicate this is beneficial as the cells begin to discard bad proteins and other defective materials that were otherwise ignored when food intake was regular.

This is the mid-way point. Saturday will be day 5.

2020-11-03 03:29:37

Right…the update.

In short, I made it approximately 72 hours, give or take an hour or two ( I dont know when on Monday I had my last bite of food before the fast, but I suspect around 7PM). It wa hard as hell, but I do think I could have made it to day five. The (definitely welcomed) reason why I cut it short at 72 is that my wife told me we are going to meet some friends of ours on Saturday for a sort of ‘send-off’ since I am leaving back to the US (more on that later). Had I continued on with the fast, it would have encroached on our time together, and impacted a nice cheers session.

So it provided a convenient reason to break it off on Thursday after day three, so that Friday I could re-coup and get the system ready for a bit of alcohol lubricated festivities.

Media Creation

New take on an old theme…

By platypusone October 20, 2020

A new recording I made earlier today using my guitar and microphone in a corner of the bedroom. It is a variation on the end section of a tune called “The Window” that I wrote several years ago with my band at the time, 12 Gauge Strings.

If you care to hear the original check out this video on YouTube. The end section that this new recording takes its inspiration from begins at 3:20, right where you hear the “na na’s” start. This vid is also a bit of a blast from my past.

Book Reviews

Quarantine Books Part II

By platypusone October 14, 2020

A terrific book that I bought here in London about two years ago. I let my Mother borrow it and she couldn’t put it down. Im happy to say that I couldn’t either. This book is an interesting character study of an eccentric middle aged woman who must cope with the struggle of day-to-day life while under the insufferable shadow of a deeply tragic childhood. We see the world through her eyes as she pushes forward, meeting a host of characters along the way, each tied to a crescendo of experiences. 4/5

A tale of a girl who loses everything in England, and must relocate to Africa to live with her grandmother on a wild game reserve, where poachers are a constant threat to the animals. Her new life begins in a big way, as she discovers a knack for the supernatural, and develops a special bond with a mythical-like giraffe. This is a very nice get-away book that is great for older children. 4/5

Kempton Steam Museum

Kempton Steam Museum journal

By platypusone October 2, 2020

Yesterday I left for the Kempton at approximately 8AM, aiming to reach the site by 10AM, which is when work ordinarily begins.

Took the Central line from Leytonstone to Bank (instead of Tottenham) to see if this might be a more efficient route to Waterloo via the Northern line. Annoyingly, it wasn’t. Northern splits into two rails, with only one connecting to the Waterloo train station. Tottenham puts me on the correct Northern side, whereas Bank puts me on the wrong side. Time wasted penalty = 15 min.

Once I get set straight, I reached Waterloo and hopped right onto a departing train to Feltham. Normally I grab a quick Starbucks before boarding the train, but in this case I made use of a portable coffee thermos from the house. No time lost!

I reached Feltham station at about 9.15 and decided to try taking the H235 bus rather than my usual H25 bus toward the museum. Resaon: During my first visit to Kempton back in February, I took the H235 – which was a lovely drive – to a stop called Sunbury. From there, it was about a 30 minute walk along the English country side along Snakey road. I love that route, but I havent been able to find it since. Since then, Google maps has routed me to the H25 bus, which is an ugly journey through Feltham that spits me out along a roundabout next to the highway, and a fifteen minute walk to the museum from there.

Anyways, the H235 bus I took yesterday was not the correct bus, and when I realized I needed to abort, it was a 45 minute walk to the museum. It was a nice walk, but I ended up arriving at the museum at 10.45. Ugh!

Ill get it right one of these days. One thing though, one of the fellow volunteers – John, a quick witted, white bearded, leader in the mechanical team, told me that the bus routes change in Feltham depending on local events, such as horse racing. This may be the cause of all the confusion!

I spent the majority of the day earning the evening’s two cap-off beers at Whitherspoons in Feltham by assisting in clearing out bramble bush and dirt from a storage area, building scaffolding, and hauling about 40 or 50 lengths of galvanized pipe, each about 20 feet long form the museum to the nearby under section of an overpass.

I really got to know a few of the guys this time around. Hard work always breeds discussion to pass the time.

Richard helped me with the pipes. He is building a car back at home, and has a friend who is building an airplane. Wonderful man, retired from own business selling forklifts.
John, one of the lead volunteers of the mechanic team. Been volunteering at the Kempton since 2004. He is a born leader, and gets in there with the rest of the boys. At one point Richard prodded John about adding cross bracing to old scaffolding saying it was basically a waste of time. “Trust me when I tell you there will be bracing on this scaffolding, Im afraid Im going to have to pull rank on you”, and that was the end of it.
Another fellow named John. He came in a bit later to help us with the scaffolding. Apparently this was his field of expertise, and provided guidance and assistance in assembling the scaffolding.
Dave – a fellow American from Boston. Helped out here and there where he could. Dave offered his advice in obtaining my VISA since he has been there and done that. He also has a vacation home somewhere in Maine, and has some interesting stories.
(Unknown) Damnit I hate it when I forget names. I think his name is Richard, but then that would mean I know three Richards at the Kempton. Anyways, the oldest of the lot (just about everyone I work with at the Kempton are retired seniors), wore a peddlars cap, and incredible friendly. He works for the rail road “children” as the mechanic team calls them (you see, the Kempton museum includes the steam engine side, and also a railroad side). He was happy to show me an old diesel engine they had underneath a tarp. It was apparently lost in storage under the bridges. The railroad side is planning on rebuilding it soon. He also has a beautiful old white Triumph car in immaculate condition. He showed me the engine. It was an interesting speicmen, as it had an inline 4 cylinder bolted to an inline manual transmission, that somehow routed power back to the front wheels. That is two right angles the power has to be directed through in order to reach the differential.

In other news, I think I’ve worked out the torque generated from the steam engine.

Each engine generates about 1000 horsepower at 25 RPM. According to some websites, the calculation for torques is HP * 5252/RPM (a base point where torque and HP always intersect in graph form).

That is 5,252,000/25 = 210,080 foot pounds.

This doesnt suprise me given how collosal these engines are. Torques is the twisting force, and when you have connecting rods that weigh hundreds of pounds each, swinging a crankshaft that weighs somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 tons, you’re going to get some serious numbers.

Im excited to bring this up to my fellow KSMers.

Film Review

The Eight Hundred

By platypusone September 27, 2020

A David vs. Goliath style war drama in which a small group of Chinese forces hold the line against a much larger, and better equipped Japanese military. The story takes place in 1937 at a warehouse deep within the city of Shanghai, where a Chinese battalion of 420 men (claiming to be at 800 to fool the enemy) and a few captured deserters have ‘bunkered down’ in a last ditch effort to hold the line against the occupying forces of the Japanese. The warehouse borders a river where – on the other side – it is ‘life as usual’ along a Las Vegas style entertainment strip where international protections from the UK and France are preventing Japanese troops from advancing there. As the battle for the warehouse continues, a growing number of onlookers root the Chinese defenders on.

The standoff quickly becomes a center-point of worldwide attention as it is witnessed by not only by the people and visitors of Shanghai, but also by various international news agencies who give a play-by-play accounting of the events from the safety of a large CGI Goodyear blimp lumbering quietly overhead. Chinese sympathizers begin to rally as they watch attempts by the Japanese to take down the warehouse get batted down time and time again. If the battalion can continue its resistance, redemption may appear in the form of greater support from the Chinese people, and international involvement against the Japanese aggressors.

I am curious to find out if the Chinese government had anything to do with the making of this film or if it was just good ol’ fashioned, ‘by God this flag aint never waved truer’ patriotism from the film’s creators. From blatant Iwo Jima ‘inspired’ flag scenes, and cutaways of sappy, ancient Chinese battle folklore, to sideline ‘tear jerk’ scenes of a little girl saluting our battle wary troops from across the river (of course the troops notice her out the thousands standing next to her) and yes, they salute back (Empire of the Sun anyone?), and repeated “Fuck the Japanese” battle cries from both commander and trooper alike . Then of course, the supporting mushy music.

We’ve seen this type of rote jingoism in many war films of the past. Michael Bay’s nauseous ‘Pearl Harbor’ is the most recent I can think of that contains similar, overly patriotic, cheese. The thing is though, that PH is a twenty year old movie, and I like to think we are now trending toward films that are a bit more realistic, and challenging to the audience. Of course, great war films are nothing new. But what makes them great is that they dug a little deeper, such as the effects and trauma of the conflict (Das Boot), or perhaps exploring both sides of the opposition (Letters from Iwo Jima), or are character studies of the men involved (Saving Private Ryan, Full Metal Jacket). I really wish the director had taken his inspiration form one of these films, rather than this spoon-feed heap of deliberate, overly idealistic fare for an intended set of agreeable masses.

While much of the acting was quite commendable the film contained few memorable characters, and only one that actually stuck with me. This older, ‘Rambo-like’, battle hardened chap (turned deserter, but then turned into soldier again) had never ‘felt the warmth of a woman’. In one scene he asks a fellow ‘experienced’ soldier what it is like (he never asked anyone until NOW?). His fellow soldier/warrior poet fills him in (no pun intended) with dreamy details, to which our valiant embodiment of armed Chinese virtue replies with, “Perhaps in my next life, I will know what it is like”, then marches toward the enemy, rifle clutched tightly in his hand *cue more mush music, and yet another eye roll.

The overall cinematography is rather nice and the special effects are decent. However the CGI did take me out of the film at times. It also had some very weak battle scenes that felt like they were over-edited to meet time requirements. One in particular involved a steam shovel, apparently armored by the Japanese, this slow and lumbering machine was rolled in to try and level the Chinese’ warehouse. It continued to close in as bullets and grenade shrapnel zinged off the shovel’s metal skin, yet somehow a single gas canister exploding next to its tank-like tracks did the trick. But how? Well that’s a great question! The film does not show this. We can only assume that it did the trick, because although we did not see its destruction, the steam shovel is never seen or heard from again.

That reminds me of another character, or caricature rather. We don’t ever learn of his name in the film, so we will just call him Roastie. Roastie is the only guy in the Chinese Battalion who sports a flame thrower. He really likes his job of incinerating Japanese flesh to preserve Chinese sovereignty. How do we know this? Well, because we see Roastie grin as he marches in with the front lines, flames a roarin’. Incredibly, all of the enemy bullets fired at Roastie and the three large fuel tanks hanging on his back are fired from the Empire. No, not the Japanese Empire…Darth Vader’s empire. Yes, Roastie continues his advance as a wall of bullets find their way into his comrades just fine, with some getting hit multiple times, in dramatic slow-motion fashion). Full disclaimer: I have never been in the military. But I would think that aiming at the mouth of a large swath of fire would be a fairly easy, and highly prioritized shot. Also, Roastie has long hair…perfect for this kind of work.

In all, I found this movie to be a missed opportunity by the directors to tell a great story grounded in historical record. But instead, the narrative felt more propaganda driven, resulting in shallow dialogue, unrealistic battle scenes, and much too long running time. If you want to see a better film, with virtually the same theme, is far more entertaining, and probably about as accurate, just subtract 500 from this movie’s title.

Rating: 2/5

Book Reviews , Life & Stuff , Uncategorized

Quarantine Books

By platypusone July 13, 2020

Christopher Hitchens: God is not Great – How Religion Spoils Everything – Religion through the view of one of its greatest contemporary critics, Christopher Hitchens. As an ever developing non-believer myself, I stumbled across Mr. Hitchens through one of his many YouTube debates, where he can be seen systematically dismantling the views of several religious prominents, especially within the three Abrahamic faiths. Rating: 7.5/10 – Thoroughly well written, but at times perhaps a bit self-indulgent at the sake of meaningful objectivity.

Steven Pressfield: Gates of Fire – a fictional and largely militarist recounting of ancient Spartan civilization up to its famous clash with the Persian Empire in the Battle of Thermopylae. This was recommended to be by my Father after discussing the film, 300. Rating: 8/10 – I thoroughly enjoyed this ride with Xeo, and his journey with the Spartans.

Sam Harris: Lying – a psychologist view on lying and its profound effects on both the deceiver and the deceived, even in the case of the small white lies we tell our children. It also examines the cathartic benefits of always telling the truth under (almost) any circumstance. I stumbled upon Sam Harris as recommended viewing on YouTube after watching several C. Hitchens interviews and debates. Rating 8/10 – there were several aspects of this essay that I wish were expanded upon, namely, techniques to implement a 100 percent truth principle 100 percent of the time, when we live in a world that operates around a multitude of multifaceted deceptions.

Guitar Head: Guitar Fretboard – Master the Guitar Fretboard in less than 24 hours – Short and sweet guide to memorizing the guitar fretboard through the use of mnemonics and visuals. Rating: NA Although I’ve completed this book, I have not yet given its lessons the required attention.

Gordon R. Dickson: The Dragon & The George – This book was recommended by none other than legendary metal icon Ronnie James Dio (may he rest in peace), in a random interview I saw of him on YouTube. When a science experiment goes wrong, a man and his fiancé are transported into a fairytale world of dragons, knights, and castles. The man, who now actually has taken the over the body of an existing dragon, must rescue his fiancé, who has been captured by an evil knight. Along the way he makes friends, who join him on his journey. Rating: 7.5/10 – an easily accessible and fun escape from the maladies of quarantine. Thank you Ronnie!

Life & Stuff

Remembering Jeff

By platypusone June 14, 2020

In Loving Memory of Jeffery Leon Hurst

1974-2018

This post is to preserve and celebrate the memory of a great man, and one of my best friends, Jeffery Hurst.

I will always remember your infectious laugh, sense of humor, natural curiosity, musical passion, your big heart, and all the great times we had together.

*This page will function as a living document with picture, story, video, and music updates.

Memorial video for Jeff, as shown at this funeral service in Odessa Tx. You can right click on the video to save to your device.

Jeff’s Obituary as seen in the Denton Record Chronical and the Odessa American newspapers.

Learning

ACFE Exam Update

By platypusone June 12, 2020

Boom! #Made it! Special thanks to Dr. Nugent – my capstone professor – who put the idea of becoming ACFE certified into my brain five years ago. Also my first supervisor with the Federal government, J. Polledo. Both of these Gentlemen said the same thing, “if you study everyday for a month, you will pass the exam”. I took a little longer, but still reached the desired outcome.

Additionally I must thank Texas Woman’s University and the ACFE itself for a scholarship I received during my tenure in Graduate school. This enabled me to take the exam at no cost. I am grateful.

Now its time to put this thing to good use.

Learning , Wall of Shame

Examity Blues

By platypusone June 12, 2020

05/18/2020 – 5:48:49 PM

My update. I have passed all of the ACFE practice exams consistently with a minimum of 83 percent, and a high of 93 percent respectively. I feel these are comfortably above the pass fail threshold of 75 percent.

Last Saturday I kept my calendar open to take at least two of the exams whilest the rest of the family was out at the park. However and unfortunately, the ACFE uses a grossly incompetent exam proctoring service called Examity. This so called service, requires you to install a half thought-out app into your Chrome browser. This viru…I mean app then controls your microphone, and webcam so that you can be monitored during the exam. After going through the oceans of complaints tied to this company online, I learned that the system uses some sort of AI to read your eye movements, and ‘listens’ to the background to make sure no-ne is giving you the answers.

So yeah, basically, the ACFE requires you to allow someone to be hacked into your computer – a stranger no less – so that they can see you and your browser, while also listening to your microphone.

You would think the ACFE would have great respect for the cautionary teachings from fraudulent-masterminds-turned-good such as the late Frank Abagnale. A man whom I’ve had the pleasure of attending one of his anti-fraud and identity theft conferences. To think the ACFE expects one willfully give the keys to their computer desktop, webcam and microphone to a stranger and employee of a shockingly poor reviewed exam proctoring service is astounding. Additionally the app you must install into your browser is such a half baked piece of trash that I have no confidence in its ability to resist being exploited by those even more nefarious than Examify themselves. For example, once I installed the app, it used the rearward fcing webcam on my surface rather than the front facing. There were no setting whtsoever in the app itself, so I hd to waste valuable minutes of my life (that I would have rather spent taking dump) having to reach out to the enemy itself for guidance…which was…go into device manager and disable the rear facing camera.

Wow.

Also, what kind of security protocols do Examify use to prevent hackers from infiltrating their user’s machines? You will not find any of this information on their website, now will you be able to call any kind of customer support directly. They really are, this bad.

But, you know what, I studied like hell for this exam, and I decided the pros of honouring the hundreds of hours of preparation for the CFE exam outweighed the risks inherent with installing this Examity garbage onto my machine.

So, after taking a prctice run-through of the exam on Examity’s websute, and having my system check out as ‘good to go’, and taking a picture of my drivers license along with a pic of myself (yep, it gets that personal), I was presented with a screen with a big blue button that said “Begin Exam”.

Here we Go! Show time!!!

Nothing happened.

At this point in this blog entry, I will copy and paste the following transcript of my discussino with the Examity chat-based technical support, for your review…

Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:24:29 PM): Thank you for contacting Examity Support. Can you confirm your first and last name as well as the school or organization you are testing with?
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:25:16 PM): Josh Welborn ACFE. Exam started but I do not see anything
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:25:28 PM): Hello Josh
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:25:46 PM): for how long has it been like that?
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:26:34 PM): I clicked Begin Exam and nothing has happened
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:26:44 PM): It has been like this for about 4 minutes
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:26:54 PM): ok
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:27:32 PM): I will check things up but it is typically about that long
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:27:58 PM): Ok thank you
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:28:17 PM): Please share the exam ID
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:29:01 PM): You mean the exam key?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:29:36 PM): no, the exam ID is all numbers. You should see it in your examity account
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:30:04 PM): session_ID=P8922799287 maybe this?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:31:47 PM): International 2020 – Law, is this the exam?
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:32:00 PM): should I just hit close on the exam?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:32:08 PM): International 2020 – Law, is this the exam?
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:32:18 PM): yes that it correct
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:32:22 PM): ok
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:32:34 PM): yes you need to close the window
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:32:46 PM): Will this result in a fail?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:33:05 PM): the exam is now pending at the auditor and you will not be able to access it again
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:33:48 PM): Why??
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:33:49 PM): fail, not sure. The auditor decides that. But I believe you should be able to reschedule
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:34:52 PM): Who can I call? I have n idea what happened, the exam did not launch, and now I cant take it. I have made arrangements this weekend to get this done, please
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:35:07 PM): while the exam was launching, the verification was on
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:35:47 PM): During the verification, you got 3 yellow flags
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:37:08 PM): What were the flags? Ive been sitting here, trying to get this test to open.
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:38:12 PM): Do you think wearing reading glasses may have tripped it up?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:39:28 PM): Please refer to the exam guidelines on this, However, if you are able to complete the exam without your glasses, I will advise you do without it
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:40:30 PM): Who can I call? This is unacceptable. I need to ake my exams. Your system appears to be broken. And I cannot get any usable information
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:40:50 PM): Do you have an international number?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:41:45 PM): At this point, you need to reschedule and to do that you need to reach out to ACFE
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:42:51 PM): Am I able to take a different exam? When will the auditors compelte their review? Where can I get information as to what the flags were?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:45:16 PM): The auditing takes 1-3 days
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:45:44 PM): Can you tell me what the flags were??????????????????????????????????/
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:45:56 PM): Do you have a phone number??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:46:47 PM): You will get the report from the auditor
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:46:54 PM): Is it possible to take another one of the exams???????
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:47:18 PM): Let me check that. Please give me a moment
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:48:52 PM): Great! Thank you
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:49:56 PM): Please contact ACFE student services at (800) 245-3321
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:51:29 PM): they will be in a better position to answer your questions. On the technical side of thing, if you reschedule and want to take the exam or any exam again, please clear your cache and cookies
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:51:45 PM): and ensure the pop-up blocker is disabled
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:52:48 PM): So if I try to put another exam key in for one of the other exams, you cant tell me if it will result in the same issue? Does this mean I should stop trying for the weekend? ACFE is closed until Monday. I have no idea what my options are! I need assistance. Can you patch me through to your manager?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:54:05 PM): Please go ahead and try, the success of that depend on how ACFE set things up. If a key can only give you access to an exam, then it will not work
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:55:13 PM): Do you have a manager I can please chat with.
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:55:16 PM): I know you want a resolution to the issue but we do not have managers in chat support and the issue will be resolved by ACFE
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:57:38 PM): Can you please tell me then…what can I do to ensure that if I try to take another part of the ACFE exam today, that I will not get another set of yellow flags? Your system offers no feedback at.all. I have nio idea why the flags were issued. IF I had not contacted you, I would still be waiting for the exam to launch,. This is incredibly frustrating. I want to take the exam I have prepared for.
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:59:46 PM): The information you need will be provided after the auditing process is complete
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:00:14 PM): on any other exam, please ensure you follow the exam guidelines
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:00:38 PM): limit all physical and eye movements
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:00:44 PM): What about taking another part of the exam today?
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:01:51 PM): I followed all of the guidelines. Without having feedback as to what the flags were, I have no idea what to change.
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:02:00 PM): Please go through the guidelines in details
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:02:31 PM): Yes I did that. This is why Ive been chatting with you.
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:02:49 PM): Are you unable to tell me what the flags were?
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:03:14 PM): That is determines in auditing
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:03:54 PM): Please wait for the exam auditing to be complete and any needed feedback will be provided
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:04:45 PM): Thank you for your time.

After this colossal waste of time, and at the end of my rope in frustration, I sent the following email to the ACFE. I have not heard back from them yet, but hopefully their response will yield some sort of light in the tunnel.

Here is the email:

From: josh@voicebyjosh.com <josh@voicebyjosh.com>
Sent: Saturday, May 16, 2020 2:57 PM
To: ‘memberservices@ACFE.com’ <memberservices@ACFE.com>
Subject: Examity Issues and Assistance Request
Dear sir or madam.
I would like to express to you how difficult a time I have had trying to take the ACFE exam through your Examity partners.
After fielding over 2000 questions, taking and passing multiple practice exams, and scheduling time in my busy household to take the ACFE exam, I was unable to answer even one question through the Examity portal. After sharing my screen and clicking the ‘Begin Exam’ button, nothing happened. When I went to customer support, they gave no indication as to what happened, only that flags were raised, my exam has gone to audit, and that I must now wait three to four days in order to find out what the problem was.
I also do not know if this will count as a test taken, and if so, if it will be counted as a fail.
Again, this is without having answered one single question. As a result, the accommodations I have made to take the exam this weekend are now completed negated. This means new arrangements will need to be made to take the exam next weekend, all without even knowing what the issue was. I have four children in my home, three of whom are not able to go to school due to the quarantine here in the UK. This makes it crucial that issues such as these do not arise. If the fault is mine, I will gladly take responsibility. But I have no idea why these flags occurred and my 30 minute discussion went in several frustrating circles (please see the attached transcript).
I am heavily dependent on the ACFE to provide a fair, and reliable testing system for me to use. So far, Examity does not seem to fit this bill, and in my opinion they do not reflect well on this organization of which I am a proud member of.
Can you please assist me in ensuring I get a fair chance to take the exam I have spent well over one month preparing for.
Thank you,
Josh
P.S. FYI, my computer passed the Examity system check, and I have taken the Examity 10 question practice exam, which went without issue.
We’ll see what happens…

Media Creation , Uncategorized

1,000,000 views

By platypusone June 1, 2020

Almost eight years ago, I decided to bring a newly purchased camera along with me as I made my landscaping run. Little did I know that the resulting video it would one day reach 1 million views…

I remember a long time ago my friend Jason R. told me that I would look back at my landscaping days as some of the best days of my life. While I am not ready to attest to the accuracy of that statement just yet, I am able to say that I look back at them with a growing amount of fondness and a bit of longing each and every year. It was a good chapter in my life. A simple read, but it had almost everything I needed in it.

I am super happy that I made and have this video to archive these special times.

A few little facts about this video:
– I made it to test out a new video camera I had purchased. Canon HF500 I think it was… great camera.
– I did not tell the lawn client I was going to be filming
– I received a lot of strange looks from both client and neighbors while making it – particularly when I stood a 6 foot tripod on the cab of my truck to get an overhead shot.
– I did not storyboard the video. I just tried to shoot as many angles as possible.
– The intro music was an early variant of “Mirror and the Man”, which was later recorded by Copper Root.
– The end music was an incomplete diddly I had written a couple years prior.
– The Metallica song is Leper Messiah
The voiceover was added a week or two later while putting the footage together,
– The insect video playing on the computer monitor during the introduction was inspired by Jeffery Hurst, from an earlier video called, “Jeff likes Insects”. (Rest in Peace Jeff).
– The watercooler was used daily in my home all the way up to my move to London.
– I sent the finished video to the lawn client, who was a professor at UNT. She liked it so much she forwarded it to several of her fellow staff members.
– The first year after the vid was uploaded, it was barely noticed. However the following Spring – during lawn season – it started to get hits.
– The Chevy truck was totaled a few years later.
– The suzuki 2 stroke mower lasted several years after filming. When it finally went kaput, I took the piston out as a keepsake.
– A part 2 was partly filmed and never finished.
– Video earned $3770 in YouTube revenue
– The video typically spikes in views every Spring.

Author: platypusone