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Wall of Shame

Just Say No to Microsoft and HP

By platypusone May 21, 2026

Im sorry but Im going to have a little rant here. 

For years Ive been using microsoft products and for years they have been consistently ehm…shall we say, disappointing. From the constant nagging to use their Onedrive cloud-based storage, to the almost forced telemetry, to the constant, and i mean constant headaches with dependability – especially with printing. Ive just had it with them. My first official ‘unplugging’ came a couple years back when I cancelled my Office 365 subscription. That is actually one of their better products – but when some files turned up missing on OneDrive (either my fault or theres) I was unable to get them back. – even after going through the tedious motions of contacting their customer support. So that was was that – I got Office Libre instead, and while it is nowhere near as pretty and a bit dated feeling – it gets the job done.  

Oh, and Windows 11 comes with a horrible bubblegum version of outlook. Its ‘free’ but the first two emails in your inbox will always be ads. Also, it doesnt work well. You can send an email, but more often than not it isnt instant, it will wait for a bit, lolligag around, and then eventully, it might send your email. I guess this is to encourage folks to get the real Outlook via Office 365. To me however, I think you should look at it like is – if they cant even get their free email program that comes with Windows 11 right – what else are they managing to fuck up? (lots believe me)

I also am not a fan of Bill Gates, who is a shady werido at best, from Epstein to farmland. So anyways – Im done wiht MS. If they ever go under – it would make the world a much better place. 

Same goes with another pile of crap company, HP. Maker of the worst printers on planet earth. They sell cheap junk that doesnt last, is a huge e waste controbutor, and also have the audacity to try and get you to subscribe to their bullshit endless ink campaign. A waste of money that provides you with cartridges that will STOP WORKING if you decide to cancel your subscrption. This current HP printerof mine was given to me by a friend who was moving out. It is weird, things seemed okay between us – I didnt realize that he despises me to the core.  He must, because this Officejet 3835 printer is an absolute pile of shit. It kinda worked to start, but you had to help the paper feed grab the paper. then ran into connection problems via wifi – but would sometimes work if you held your tongue just right. Now – it doesnt work at all. This of course after I spent stupid money on a genuine HP black ink cartridge (HP makes it near impossible to use third party cartidges, or refills btw).

Never again will I buy anything else from these two companies – and you shouldnt either. Buy a mac, and buy a Brother printer. Yes they cost more – but Believe me they are worth it you wont turn back. 

Wall of Shame

Nefarious Happenings at Intuit (w audio)

By platypusone July 8, 2021
Click Hear for audio version

It doesn’t really matter, but for what its worth I would like to share with you, good reader, a recent experience I had with the customer service team at Intuit. I have a 2016 version of QuickBooks Pro that I decided to implement back into my day to day. The copy was purchased off Newegg back in 2016 as a full version digital download. As such it came with all of the necessary license numbers and so forth. However, after installing and successfully moving past the ‘yes I bought this’ security bits, the program asked me for a validation code which could only be obtained by calling Intuit’s (QuickBooks parent company) customer service number.

The phone number ended up being a generic customer service line that referred me the QuickBooks ‘contact us’ area within the application. Ugh! So, I went there (fortunately Quickbooks allowed me access to that portion of the app without the code) and I was able to get into a chat session with a likely third party – and Im willing to bet – commission based – customer service agent. I explained the issue, and that I just needed the validation code to get back to using my 5 year old, but $300 dollar application.

Should be easy peasy stuff here.

The woman on the other end said that with a little updating, Id be back on my feet in no time. Yes! I thought! (ignoring the obvious next question as to if there would be any additional cost). So after looking up my account online, and validating that I did in fact purchase this software, the woman told me that the discounted rate to bring QuickBooks up to the current version would only be $199. That’s what it would take for me to be able to use my version of QuickBooks, and that’s when our chummy relationship came apart like a wet soda cracker.

I argued that this was a full version purchase, and despite the fact that its 5 years old I have a right to be able to use it. Just give me the freaking code already. But the woman refused…or said she couldn’t get it (refused). Claiming that the license the software came with was only good for three years. There was nothing more she could do, the only way to move forward would involve my wallet. So I told her no thanks, I’ll be checking out the six-month free trial of their competitor’s software instead*.

She hardly cared.

Still trying to nail that commission though, the woman then asked me if I had heard of QuickBooks online? I told her there is no way Im going to use a subscription service from a company that stoops this low. And that is how the conversation ended.

So that was that.

Only it wasnt…

After searching the internet for ways to crack – or break into – my legitimately purchased version of QuickBooks, I stumbled upon a thread (ironically on the QuickBooks support page) from someone who had had the same problem, with the same 2016 version of QuickBooks that I have. Apparently his laptop was stolen and he had to re-install Quickbooks onto his new computer. Like me, he was unable to get past the validation code screen, and he complained the referred phone number did not provide the solution. Astonishingly, his QuickBooks agent stated that she would ensure he would receive the code ASAP, and the issue was then marked resolved.

On top of that…this thread was dated 2020. So like mine, this man’s license was also beyond the three year license limitations that my agent claimed was impossible to circumvent.

So I decided to initiate another chat session with another agent, and aligned my backstory along the lines of that poor chap who’s laptop had been stolen. I told the agent that I had to reinstall QuickBooks and needed the validation code so that I could access my company files. Amazingly, this new agent told me no worries and after a few futile attempts to upsell and upgrade my software, finally awarded me those elusive six validating numbers. I typed them in and ‘voilah!’ the old 2016 QuickBooks sprung to life, eagerly ready to capture some financial transactions.

So there ya have it. My first agent was a liar and a cheat. OR, Intuit is encouraging its agents push you toward another purchase (at all cost), OR nobody cares, and it really just boils down to who you talk to, and what story you give. In any case, this is why Intuit has made my wall of shame.

  • Available at the Sage website (sadly six month offer has now ended)

Life & Stuff , Wall of Shame

Well that was quick!

By platypusone December 15, 2020

I lasted 5 days with Amazon. Long enough to get my first paycheck and confirm just how lousy working for this company – at least as “Sortation Associate” is. Now to be fair, I heard from a fellow employee that some Amazon sites are better to work at than others. Like myself, he was appalled at how atrocious the treatment of workers was at this Bromley by Bow location.

In a nutshell, here are the key issues:

  • Poor management – no clear cut procedures were established.
  • Micro-management – everything you do is monitored by a computer, if you take too long, you will be approached by supervisory personnel.
  • Lack of trust – Amazon will literally hire anyone for this role, and as such, I reckon they’ve been taken advantage of. This means that new folks do not have any benefit of the doubt for having a good work ethic.
  • No breaks – here in England employers can work you for 6 hours before they are legally required to give you a break. Amazon takes full advantage of this, and while they tell you you can take breaks in ‘training’, I’ve found this to be mostly untrue. The break room is monitored, and while on the floor sorting goods, everything you do is timed.
  • Rude staff – All us new folks agreed that as a new “amazonian’, management hates you. You are shouted at, you are pointed to, you are disrespected, on a constant basis. One lady I worked with said she felt like she was treated like a slave, as she was constantly being hounded for not moving fast enough.
  • Management is Disorganized – Several times you are assigned to an isle full of parcels that another associate is already in. Covid 19 restrictions prevent you from enetering the isle with the other person, so you have two courses of action:
    1. Pressure the other associate into moving aside so you can get your parcels.
    2. Wait for the associate to finish, then enter the isle.

Remember that everyone is being timed here, so the solution is always at you or the other person’s expense. So now, on top of being hounded, you have conditions ripe for employee conflict.

  • When you are approached, management will make the extra effort to really animate they are looking at your nametag, this way you know that they know who you are.

Okay so I could go on and on. Inconsistent Corona virus precautions, the use of equally bad temp agencies, I’ve yet to receive my first pay stub, etc…

The fact is, this place is a depressing and spiteful Amazon hub to work at. They take advantage of the high unemployment numbers out there and use them to bully the workforce into unreasonable and unmonitored labor demands. Dignity and Respect are what should be at the forefront of any employee’s basic treatment expectations here in the civilized world. You will not get that here.

Another thing to point out is that I was hired by a temp agency called PMP. They definitely deserve huge credit for the abysmal working conditions as well. It is extremely difficult to contact anyone, and I doubt they care about any issues one might have. This is a BIG contract they have with Amazon, and as the insane turnover suggests, they will plow through the numbers not matter what the cost.

Anything good?

Well it isn’t bad pay for a position that requires zero skills or work experience. I was making somewhere in the £10.50 per hour, which adjusted to USD is about $14.

Amazon provides you with the appropriate safety wear, including steel toed boots and a hi-visibility vest.

Learning , Wall of Shame

Examity Blues

By platypusone June 12, 2020

05/18/2020 – 5:48:49 PM

My update. I have passed all of the ACFE practice exams consistently with a minimum of 83 percent, and a high of 93 percent respectively. I feel these are comfortably above the pass fail threshold of 75 percent. 

Last Saturday I kept my calendar open to take at least two of the exams whilest the rest of the family was out at the park. However and unfortunately, the ACFE uses a grossly incompetent exam proctoring service called Examity. This so called service, requires you to install a half thought-out app into your Chrome browser. This viru…I mean app then controls your microphone, and webcam so that you can be monitored during the exam. After going through the oceans of complaints tied to this company online, I learned that the system uses some sort of AI to read your eye movements, and ‘listens’ to the background to make sure no-ne is giving you the answers. 

So yeah, basically, the ACFE requires you to allow someone to be hacked into your computer – a stranger no less – so that they can see you and your browser, while also listening to your microphone. 

You would think the ACFE would have great respect for the cautionary teachings from fraudulent-masterminds-turned-good such as the late Frank Abagnale. A man whom I’ve had the pleasure of attending one of his anti-fraud and identity theft conferences. To think the ACFE expects one willfully give the keys to their computer desktop, webcam and microphone to a stranger and employee of a shockingly poor reviewed exam proctoring service is astounding. Additionally the app you must install into your browser is such a half baked piece of trash that I have no confidence in its ability to resist being exploited by those even more nefarious than Examify themselves. For example, once I installed the app, it used the rearward fcing webcam on my surface rather than the front facing. There were no setting whtsoever in the app itself, so I hd to waste valuable minutes of my life (that I would have rather spent taking  dump) having to reach out to the enemy itself for guidance…which was…go into device manager and disable the rear facing camera.

Wow.

Also, what kind of security protocols do Examify use to prevent hackers from infiltrating their user’s machines? You will not find any of this information on their website, now will you be able to call any kind of customer support directly. They really are, this bad.

But, you know what, I studied like hell for this exam, and I decided the pros of honouring the hundreds of hours of preparation for the CFE exam outweighed the risks inherent with installing this Examity garbage onto my machine. 

So, after taking a prctice run-through of the exam on Examity’s websute, and having my system check out as ‘good to go’, and taking a picture of my drivers license along with a pic of myself (yep, it gets that personal), I was presented with a screen with a big blue button that said “Begin Exam”. 

Here we Go! Show time!!!

Nothing happened. 

At this point in this blog entry, I will copy and paste the following transcript of my discussino with the Examity chat-based technical support, for your review…

Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:24:29 PM): Thank you for contacting Examity Support. Can you confirm your first and last name as well as the school or organization you are testing with? 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:25:16 PM): Josh Welborn ACFE. Exam started but I do not see anything 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:25:28 PM): Hello Josh 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:25:46 PM): for how long has it been like that? 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:26:34 PM): I clicked Begin Exam and nothing has happened 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:26:44 PM): It has been like this for about 4 minutes 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:26:54 PM): ok 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:27:32 PM): I will check things up but it is typically about that long 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:27:58 PM): Ok thank you 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:28:17 PM): Please share the exam ID 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:29:01 PM): You mean the exam key? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:29:36 PM): no, the exam ID is all numbers. You should see it in your examity account 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:30:04 PM): session_ID=P8922799287 maybe this? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:31:47 PM): International 2020 – Law, is this the exam? 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:32:00 PM): should I just hit close on the exam? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:32:08 PM): International 2020 – Law, is this the exam? 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:32:18 PM): yes that it correct 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:32:22 PM): ok 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:32:34 PM): yes you need to close the window 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:32:46 PM): Will this result in a fail? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:33:05 PM): the exam is now pending at the auditor and you will not be able to access it again 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:33:48 PM): Why?? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:33:49 PM): fail, not sure. The auditor decides that. But I believe you should be able to reschedule 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:34:52 PM): Who can I call? I have n idea what happened, the exam did not launch, and now I cant take it. I have made arrangements this weekend to get this done, please 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:35:07 PM): while the exam was launching, the verification was on 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:35:47 PM): During the verification, you got 3 yellow flags 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:37:08 PM): What were the flags? Ive been sitting here, trying to get this test to open. 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:38:12 PM): Do you think wearing reading glasses may have tripped it up? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:39:28 PM): Please refer to the exam guidelines on this, However, if you are able to complete the exam without your glasses, I will advise you do without it 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:40:30 PM): Who can I call? This is unacceptable. I need to ake my exams. Your system appears to be broken. And I cannot get any usable information 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:40:50 PM): Do you have an international number? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:41:45 PM): At this point, you need to reschedule and to do that you need to reach out to ACFE 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:42:51 PM): Am I able to take a different exam? When will the auditors compelte their review? Where can I get information as to what the flags were? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:45:16 PM): The auditing takes 1-3 days 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:45:44 PM): Can you tell me what the flags were??????????????????????????????????/ 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:45:56 PM): Do you have a phone number?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:46:47 PM): You will get the report from the auditor 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:46:54 PM): Is it possible to take another one of the exams??????? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:47:18 PM): Let me check that. Please give me a moment 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:48:52 PM): Great! Thank you 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:49:56 PM): Please contact ACFE student services at (800) 245-3321 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:51:29 PM): they will be in a better position to answer your questions. On the technical side of thing, if you reschedule and want to take the exam or any exam again, please clear your cache and cookies 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:51:45 PM): and ensure the pop-up blocker is disabled 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:52:48 PM): So if I try to put another exam key in for one of the other exams, you cant tell me if it will result in the same issue? Does this mean I should stop trying for the weekend? ACFE is closed until Monday. I have no idea what my options are! I need assistance. Can you patch me through to your manager? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:54:05 PM): Please go ahead and try, the success of that depend on how ACFE set things up. If a key can only give you access to an exam, then it will not work 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:55:13 PM): Do you have a manager I can please chat with. 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:55:16 PM): I know you want a resolution to the issue but we do not have managers in chat support and the issue will be resolved by ACFE 
Josh (5/16/2020, 1:57:38 PM): Can you please tell me then…what can I do to ensure that if I try to take another part of the ACFE exam today, that I will not get another set of yellow flags? Your system offers no feedback at.all. I have nio idea why the flags were issued. IF I had not contacted you, I would still be waiting for the exam to launch,. This is incredibly frustrating. I want to take the exam I have prepared for. 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 1:59:46 PM): The information you need will be provided after the auditing process is complete 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:00:14 PM): on any other exam, please ensure you follow the exam guidelines 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:00:38 PM): limit all physical and eye movements 
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:00:44 PM): What about taking another part of the exam today? 
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:01:51 PM): I followed all of the guidelines. Without having feedback as to what the flags were, I have no idea what to change. 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:02:00 PM): Please go through the guidelines in details 
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:02:31 PM): Yes I did that. This is why Ive been chatting with you. 
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:02:49 PM): Are you unable to tell me what the flags were? 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:03:14 PM): That is determines in auditing 
Kikelomo F (5/16/2020, 2:03:54 PM): Please wait for the exam auditing to be complete and any needed feedback will be provided 
Josh (5/16/2020, 2:04:45 PM): Thank you for your time.

After this colossal waste of time, and at the end of my rope in frustration, I sent the following email to the ACFE. I have not heard back from them yet, but hopefully their response will yield some sort of light in the tunnel.

Here is the email:

From: josh@voicebyjosh.com <josh@voicebyjosh.com> 
Sent: Saturday, May 16, 2020 2:57 PM
To: ‘memberservices@ACFE.com’ <memberservices@ACFE.com>
Subject: Examity Issues and Assistance Request

Dear sir or madam.

I would like to express to you how difficult a time I have had trying to take the ACFE exam through your Examity partners.

After fielding over 2000 questions, taking and passing multiple practice exams, and scheduling time in my busy household to take the ACFE exam, I was unable to answer even one question through the Examity portal. After sharing my screen and clicking the ‘Begin Exam’ button, nothing happened.  When I went to customer support, they gave no indication as to what happened, only that flags were raised, my exam has gone to audit, and that I must now wait three to four days in order to find out what the problem was.

I also do not know if this will count as a test taken, and if so, if it will be counted as a fail.

Again, this is without having answered one single question. As a result, the accommodations I have made to take the exam this weekend are now completed negated. This means new arrangements will need to be made to take the exam next weekend, all without even knowing what the issue was. I have four children in my home, three of whom are not able to go to school due to the quarantine here in the UK. This makes it crucial that issues such as these do not arise. If the fault is mine, I will gladly take responsibility. But I have no idea why these flags occurred and my 30 minute discussion went in several frustrating circles (please see the attached transcript).

I am heavily dependent on the ACFE to provide a fair, and reliable testing system for me to use. So far, Examity does not seem to fit this bill, and in my opinion they do not reflect well on this organization of which I am a proud member of.

Can you please assist me in ensuring I get a fair chance to take the exam I have spent well over one month preparing for.

Thank you,

Josh

P.S. FYI, my computer passed the Examity system check, and I have taken the Examity 10 question practice exam, which went without issue. 

We’ll see what happens…